), Partner: "I'm proud of you for landing that job", While you might understand that your partner is being supportive, might you also feel a bit miffed? Im so glad that youre there for giving me support. If a parent can say, 'I'm proud of you', then can the parent also say the opposite - ' I'm disappointed in you '? Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude is also a great way to show appreciation to others. . All rights reserved. Look him in the eyes and smile. Do you think if they didn't mean it they would say it? I still think she was doing this at the time. A Macquarie Dictionary definition of proud is: feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something conceived as highly honourable or creditable to oneself. (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). (a short read). 8. Facebook: Please join us on our Facebook page for a mix of articles on children and parenting. With teens and adults, saying "I'm proud of you" is a bit different. But who are you to affirm? Private face-to-face sessions and course not available at this point. To try to sum this up, I mrried and ended up in a small, isolated village filled with people who either did not graduate high school or barely achieved that level of schooling. Knowing someone is proud of you, is indeed one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. What does it mean when someone tells you that they are proud of you facilitator, with over 1000 parents completing the course with her. . To me, if someone I respect said they were proud of me, would mean much more and have a much better and more positive effect on me than if they said Im really happy for you because the feeling of someone being proud for me includes me, my efforts and achievements, and unites me with that person who said it at the moment of saying it. My boys are all each others fan club and its marvelous. 03:48. When someone knows that you are not only proud, but you are inspired and amazed, it will be an even better compliment. 6. Updated 7th September 2016; and 19th April 2019. I am trying very, very hard not to implode. The truth here is, different people say and hear different things in the expression Im proud of you.. Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? How might you feel as the worker? I am so lucky to have you in my life and your . I wanted to know whether or not I was overreacting.He had no hand in my achievements and since he was the one who caused me those problems, I feel he has lost every right to use that phrase with me. Might as well as them to stop saying yall or bless her heart.. Like I wasnt doing enough before? What would replace this oh-so-common parenting expression? You had nothing whatsoever to do with any of this you pond-bottom suckers.. I believe many people do not understand and appreciate the expression Im proud FOR you. Proud Boys celebrate after Trump's debate callout - NBC News May God's blessings be bestowed upon you forever and always. She says "Good boy. Next course: We hope to run a face to face course beginning in early May, 2023. Saying, Im proud of you, is a great word and its an expression from the heart. The phrase that has always hit me hardest, however, has been "I'm proud of you." Someone saying that they're proud of you implies that, not only are they impressed by what you do and who you are, they also want others to know it. If someone calls you boring: "Yeah, and what makes you so exciting?" Nothing,. 2. They may become adults who are vulnerable, who do not have a strong sense of self-worth. My native language is not English, but I have fallen into the unfortunate (for somethings) of social netwoks, like facebook. 17. So, lets get started! First, is there anything more emotionally potent than someone you really care about and admire telling you, Im proud of you?, It feels like I can name many movies where this serves as the emotional climax. 2014, 2016, 2019. An FBI witness says that members of the far-right Proud Boys had hoped to assassinate Vice President Mike Pence and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi during last week's violent storming of the U.S . They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. 49 Best Responses To "I Am Proud Of You" (From Family And Friends) It remains condescending and arrogant. Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? The Psychology of Bragging. B Blue Apple Senior Member I think that the phrase really bothers me, because its like saying, Wow, I didnt think you were good enough to ever achieve -insert whatever here.- My fiance said it to me last night while I was doing the dishes. The Psychology of Bragging - Counselling Connection How Do I Respond To "I'm proud of you"? Lets look at some examples (followed by some suggested alternatives) adult first, then child, to help illustrate this point: Manager: "Im proud of the report youve written". Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. Feb 10, . You would have to know the whole story. Its my feeling that I should only express pride in something Ive accomplished. You could also feel patronised. I had an experience where a friend, who I consider in every way my equal, noticed that I made a healthy food choice (not that I didnt before, but I think its the first time he noticed) and he said, Oh Im so proud of you!. He may understand you have daddy issues and need a masculine pat on the back. Larissa Dann, a veteran trainer of Parent Effectiveness Training in Australia, suggests that we stop saying "I am proud of you," and start saying, "I am proud for you." 1 It is a subtle shift from the accomplishment being about the parent to the accomplishment being about the child. I am livid because a couple of arrogant, condescending people who had been known briefly, posted, We are so proud and impressed, on a stinking FB page, I do not use FB, etc. Thank you so much! The most important thing is to show your appreciation and gratitude for their words. And you get to benefit from them regardless of the outcome of your relationship. Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . In this research, children of parents who never said "I'm proud of you" were significantly more likely to contemplate, plan or attempt suicide. 4. 4. The first time I remember hearing it said to me (though I'm sure there were times before the instance I'm describing . 1. I was irritated by that remark. Didnt your manager think you were capable of putting such a report together? But if someone says this to you, without further explanation, then it means that you are not a priority to them, they have other things that they are doing. Fascinating post in two regards. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? The rest were manual labourers. When somebody says that you are wrong: "You are entitled to your incorrect opinion." To each his own. All Rights Reserved. They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. That way, all they have to do is show up. Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. 9. For going back to work when Im still hardly sleeping, due to having an 8 week old at home? If that's the case, I suggest a change of phrase. I agree with you: its sad that he did what my parents should have done. 1. This is a very interesting discussion for me. . If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. It will show your appreciation for their words, it will help to strengthen your relationship, and it will create a positive and constructive environment. They have everything to do with your strength, and what you've endured. Thank you, mom and dad, youre the reason for this. Because this was someone elses idea. What your walk really says about you - BBC Future 4. God knew just what we needed when He gave us you. May these Proud Quotes On Success inspire you to take action so that you may live your dreams. He thinks you're absolutely wonderful and he's pumped to be in a relationship with you; it's written all over his face. She says "Good boy. Later in life, after having been to university, but not knowing what I really wanted to major in and which degree I wanted to get (prepped for teaching career, but not convinced it was the right career for me), I stopped my studies and took a good union job, which at least paid some bills and gave me teh good feelign of earning money. until recently when a Goddaughter won an amazing internship, beating 2000 other applicants, and her other Godmother put a message on Facebook saying how proud she was of her. Most of the time, to be proud of someone means you know where they've been and how far they've come pride is a word about growth. For me, this was a huge take-away moment. However Simon Cowell for instance often says he is proud of a contestant he has never met before. So thank you Ben, for after read the above I feel happy with my Im thrilled for you, You must feel really proud and the like. Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling. I'm so proud of your painting!" 11 Steps to Be More Proud of Yourself - Happier Human A teacher or a mentor can be proud of their student, but you can't really be proud of your peers. 15. Im so happy to have you in my life, thanks! If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". Stay in the know when we release new content! Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. 3. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre also taking advantage of the power of positive reinforcement. They include: courage, commitment, imagination and compassion, and oh yes, patience -- lots of it -- because it doesn't happen overnight. But the Bible warns us against a self-centered, egotistical pride that says, "Look at me; look at . 3. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. How come you didnt come to watch this match? I cannot tell you how happy I am, for her, to witness her achievement and how much I admire her tenacity in overcoming all she has. The reader alone is responsible for any action they take as a result of reading this website. . Its very presumptuous. This expression is much more self-focused, i.e. Looking for some extra money from your parents? But this will be seen as an overreaction. Last week, I went back to my college homecoming without my wife. 8. 5. I also told her I had a great time & that she picks up my spirits. I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything in the world. Thats the response I was expecting from you. What to Do and What to Say When Someone Insults You - UpJourney Ive been lurching between How can you be proud of someone elses children? but then challenging that with But then as we do both have a close relationship with her we probably have had some influence on how shes turning out . I wish everyone had a genuine friend like you. We are probably trying to encourage our children, and even instil in them a sense of pride in their own achievements. Thanks for making us proud. I again said. (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. 13. Now, John may hear "I'm disappointed that this is the same picture. Likewise, these are special, cute, and funny replies when someone says I am proud of you and you dont know what to respond next. Did I do anything extraordinary? Also, as bilabial says, I like the recognize traits he values in himself, like his thoroughness and carefulness. I did like here. Sometimes a simple change of scenery might help you to stop thinking negative thoughts. Sure, they get angry with one another, as do all brothers, but they forgive and move on. Paul urged his young companion Timothy to be "a worker who does not need to be ashamed" (2 Timothy 2:15). It's a pretty good deal. Keep believing in me, I will make you proud more and more. I was an ambitious student with a goal to attend university, which my father completely supported. She only ever said it once but it has stuck with me forever: The Mindset of the Ambitious Educational Elite, Thinking Clearly about a Persons Substance Amidst Stylistic Differences, On Intentionally Vague, Mystique-Infused Explanations of Talent, Book Notes: Lost & Found by Kathryn Shulz, Mindfulness of Consciousness Meditation Retreat. If you get a new job, get a participants medal for a 10K or do anything deemed worthwhile, friends, family and acquaintances will say they are so proud of you!!!. But what does proud mean? We love all of our readers and we want to you to know how much youre appreciated! Briefly, some difficulties include: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. Second, he must know you well. I can point them out to my friends and say, Those are my sons!. This is a noble endeavor. There may be times when he gets some details wrong, but no one is taking score about who gets the fine points right most of the time. 24. I also have to let go of holding it against him, because I presume it was a well-meaning gaffeinstead of saying how happy he is for me, as hes never been belittling before. The same trope appears in many childrens movies (Babe, Mulan)is there anything more important to a child than their parents love and approval? Proverbs 18:12 Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, but humility goes before honor. Here subject and object are the same person. However, the other expression Im really happy for you is so overused that it immediately rings the bell of insincerity. Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote 12. Of course, the child may feel really pleased to hear this positive evaluation of their efforts. The important thing is to reach out and let the person know that they matter to you. Just the way you look and react to your husband can give the impression that you are honored to be his wife. A good friend of mine, who has had a tough life, has just written and published her first book. At the same time, the paper stated that "a key is to ensure that children feel positively connected to their parents and family," and that parents needed to demonstrate to their children that "they cared about them", that they "had their back". Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. They just say it. In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. by Carolyn Steber. Wondering where that may be coming from. Why are you taking the credit for my effort? (I'd prefer "Congratulations! But, what would be the better ways to respond to I am proud of you other than just saying thank you. My sons grew up together and are spaced two years apart. A person receiving this praise could also feel belittled it could feel as though their achievement was unexpected - a surprise to the other person. Happy I did it, finally! One might consider that the mature thing to do, or the business savvy thing to do, but she has had nothing to do with them for years, because they are arrogant and condescending. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. In most situation expresses negative connotations, such as "He is very ", which means he is over proud of himself (). I avoid "well done" or "good job" for all the reasons Ive stopped saying "Im proud of you". And black adults (57%) are more likely than whites (43%) or Hispanics (42%) to know someone who falls into . 5. Darling, Are You Proud of Me? | Psychology Today Never say these 5 phrases to your kids, says psychologisthere - CNBC Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude has many benefits. Larissa's writing has been published in Huffington Post Australia, Early Childhood Australia's blog 'The Spoke'; Her Canberra, Gordon Training International blog, and Generation Next blog. What, do you really? Towards Net Zero. You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. Future Planet. Key takeaways on Americans' views of guns and gun ownership Thanks, buddy! Don't remind them how far they've come. 1. I say it often to former students. You shouldnt be. 11 Signs He's Proud To Be With You - Bolde 26 Reasons to Be Proud of Yourself | Psychology Today The proud feeling transcends from child to parent. 10. Love you so much. By being proud of me that person shares their mind and soul with my mind and soul and includes me in a certain extended period of that persons life. That would have shown so much more appreciation for what I do 24 hours a day, instead of a measely Im proud of you.. "Im proud of you!" Rather than the child feeling respected for their efforts, they may feel patronised, put-down. I wasnt happy with this performance. Anyone could tell how proud he is to be with you by the giant grin that's plastered on his face when you two are together. Imperfect, striving, playful, loving, learning. You are taking joy in someone else doing good. But is that really very useful? Image used under license from Shutterstock, research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you", protective role in a their child's mental health, Should Children And Parents Be Friends? I think its about the underlying meaning of these words to a child. Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. No. This post was actually very helpful for me! That proud phrase didnt bother me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to wonder, what does she mean when she says shes proud of me? Probably no big deal but would be interested in input from others especially other females. How to Let Your Children Know You Are Proud of Them - Verywell Family We laughed a lot and re-lived some old memories. Quote by John F. Kennedy: "If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who Go To Homepage. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see you grow up the way they raised you.