And when it gets in, I'll give you a call and you come pick it up. [bursting into laughter] Mark Hanna, One thing I can promise you is that I never ask my clients to judge me on my winners, I ask them to judge me on my losers because I have so few. Jordan Belfort, Just like that I made two grand, the other guys looked at me like I just discovered fire. Jordan Belfort, You know, just people say s**t. I dont even know. All very acidic above-the-shoulders mustard shit. I'm not putting words in your mouth or nothing, but you just said that everybody wants to get rich. It's beautiful! Theyre gonna need to send in the national guard or fucking swat team, cause I aint going nowhere! Jordan Belfort, I am not gonna die sober! The porterhouse from Argentina. This is what happens when you fuck with your pets on new issue day! Okay? Whether America plans to invade Switzerland in the upcoming months. What are you, a fuckin owl? Naomi Lapaglia, Oh my God! Good! Look at this! I finished my paperwork and I was, just had a couple minutes. By creating an account, you agree to the BENI-FUCKING-HANA? Which meant there was only a finite amount of these things left. Oh, hey! Fuck you! Jordan Belfort: And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. You're gonna miss it! Error rating book. Come for me. Look at yourself, Jordan. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. Just below that it reads "Ticket Confirmation#:" followed by a 10-digit number. I felt horrible. Not to mention countless dollars. Jordan Belfort: So I was a little surprised you asked Christie for my number. Jordan Belfort: Stratton Broker in a Bowtie: My fucking warriors, who will not hang up the phone until their client either buys *or fucking dies!*. Are you behind on your credit card bills? Who is she? Where were they doing it, sweetheart? Bears. [Naomi walks in on a gay orgy] Look at this! Once in the morning after I work out, once after lunch. You know those guys who got like the beard with, like, no mustache or some bullshit? Stratton Oakmont. I can't close this briefcase. Because I want you to come for me, baby. $26,000 worth of sides? That's the stupidest shit I've ever heard in my fucking life! Then were gonna need some tranq darts, a pair a handcuffs, a can of Mace Wigwam, I dont think youre cut out for this job. Mark Hanna: Jordan Belfort: If you have 60 seconds, I'd like to share the idea with you. I dont care whose birthday it is. Donnie Azoff, Its business. I know, but I don't drink, remember? I will not die sober! In fact, you never did anything wrong in the first place. For a moment, I had forgotten I lived in a world where everything was for sale. You hear me? Jordan Belfort: Really, really great. Drama, Jordan Belfort: It was the sort of silence shared by two people who're comfortable enough not to force a conversation ahead of its logical progression. Naomi Lapaglia: I mean, when she married me she knew what she was getting into, didnt she? See those little black boxes? I haven't eaten all day. Across the Verrazano's Bridge. You're almost there! Do you jerk off? Jordan Belfort: Oh, you don't love me? Want me to come for you? Jordan Belfort: Jean Jacques Saurel: It was like pissing in the fate gods eye. Come on, baby. I don't even listen to it half the time. Hold on! Donnie Azoff: and the They cure cancer? What the fuck is going on out here? Jordan Belfort: That's not how you treat people. No, I don't wanna implode, sir. The wolf of Wall Street they call me! Thank God. $4,000? In fact, back in the good old days, when getting blasted over lunch was considered normal corporate behavior, the IRS referred to these types of expenses as three-martini lunches! When you do something, you might fail. Jordan Belfort, On a daily basis I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island, and Queens for a month. Jordan, this is how it's gonna go. Hi, fellas! And I will make you richer than the most powerful CEO in the United States of fucking America! Naomi Lapaglia: And guess what? Coming Soon, Regal You're dealing with numbers. Am I crazy? You people are all shit out of luck. I have been a rich man and I have been a poor man. People tend to give up. No, everything's fine. With their beautiful wife by their side, whos got big voluptuous tits. , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. Brad: Cinemark I mean that was the last time we ever have sex. It is perhaps the best thing I've seen in the last six months. I'm sure every person has this; it's just that my monologue is particularly loud. What do you mean you want a divorce? Jordan Belfort: Is your landlord ready to evict you? The captain tied you up, he almost fuckin' tasered you! It was a hefty sum, $5 million, and in truth it had little to do with setting them up. Rugrat gets busted down in Miami, and guess who happens to be with him? With Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie, Matthew McConaughey. Naomi Lapaglia: We require immediate assistance! Jordan Belfort: Give him time. Righto, Jean, that'll be great Cheerio! Donnie Azoff: It was a madhouse, a greed fest, with equal parts cocaine, testosterone, and body fluids. Benihana Beni-fucking-hana? It's actually an utterly entertaining and hilarious joy ride. Jordan Belfort: You're not fucking taking my goddamn fucking kids! Oh, California? Baby, it gets worse. Look at yourself! You just made love to me. Look! There could be. What are all the little fuckheads doing while you're here? Oh yeah. Mark Hanna: In the bedroom? Its because you have not learnt enough. Refresh and try again. It took 90 minutes for these fuckers to kick in but once they did, *pow. However, while Belfort and his cronies partake in a hedonistic brew of sex, drugs and thrills, the SEC and the FBI close in on his empire of excess. [Naomi slaps Jordan and he slaps her back]. [sigh of relief] While he runs his activity with rather questionable methods, he lives a stormy relationship . 40 Alfred Adler Quotes That Will Make You Reflect. Pick up the phone and start dialing! Sell me that pen. You're sick! Well, we don't work for you, man! Give me a kiss, sweetheart. [peeing on his subpoena] Donnie Azoff: Fuck. You got a minute? The Wolf Of Wall Street tells the story of Jordan Belfort, a drug-fueled, ambitious hustler at wall street. Get those fucking ludes! Jordan Belfort: It turned out the British weren't too different from the Swiss. Jordan Belfort: Last month you were a wine connoisseur, and now youre an aspiring landscape architect, Isnt that right? Jordan Belfort, You got my money taped to your tits, honey. Hi, how you doing? No, you didn't research the whole thing and deal with the fucking golf course people! [watching TV] Mark Hanna : It's his first day on Wall Street. Get off. "The Wolf Of Wall Street" quotes - Movie Quotes A real wolf pit, which is exactly how I liked it. Don't you wanna be my friend? That's why we at Stratton Oakmont pride ourselves on being the best. Naomi Lapaglia: Brad: Don't you dare throw that fucking water on me! And by the way, John, our analysts indicate it could go a heck of a lot higher than that. It's a woozie. Dont worry, it wont take long. If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. [checks on Donnie] Is there an apology message on the machine?" Yeah? You snooks will now be targeting the wealthiest 1% of Americans. Why why why god, why would you be so cruel as to choose a chain of fucking hibachi restaurants to take me down! John: Actually, the madness started on our very first day, when one of our brokers, Ben Jenner, christened the elevator by getting a blow job from the sales assistant. Jordan Belfort: That being said its the kind of movie that I can watch over and over again, especially the first 40 minutes that shows Belforts rise to riches. I do it 'cause I fucking *need* to. These little bastards were so strong I had discovered a whole new phase. Donnie Azoff: I ask them to judge me on my losers, because I have so few. In which case, you know, we could start fresh. Patrick Denham: Chester Ming: Very British, you know. The Wolf of Wall Street - Rotten Tomatoes Supply and demand, my friend. I got five more just like you, bro. Based on Jordan Belfort's autobiography. It's just stupid. Jordan Belfort: Captain Ted Beecham: I love it. Give him time. My lawyer said that you're going to prison for 20 years, Jordan! Dont ever forget that., Listen, guys, fucking around with midgets aint no joke. Sell me that pen. Its fairy dust. What, if the kid's retarded? I mean, what if something like that happened? Are you out of your fucking mind? I want you to come for me like it's the last fucking time. Jordan Belfort: If you don't, you will fall out of balance, split your differential and tip the fuck over. This is what you do? We don't give two shits about how technology works, 'cause all we care about is getting fucking RICH! He's just warning everybody. Mommy is just so sick and tired of wearing panties. Jordan Belfort: Who's a faggot? Naomi Lapaglia: She brought in a decorator, feng shui'd the whole place. Despite focusing on multimillionaire stockbroker Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio . Let's go the other fucking way! When we arrived to prison, I was absolutely terrified. Jordan Belfort: When you get really good at it, youll fucking be stroking and youll be thinking about money. Mark Hanna, Her father is the brother of my mom. Once in the morning, right after I work out. Privacy Policy So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. Jordan Belfort: Naomi Lapaglia: Mark Hanna: Donnie Azoff: Like, "Run free!" Max Belfort: Let me give you some legal advice: Shut the fuck up! Donnie Azoff: Jordan Belfort: And I choose rich every fuckin' time. Jordan Belfort: Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan Belfort: So before I approve this midget-tossing business, you need to find me a game warden who can rein in the little critter if he should go off the deep end. They're up my ass. Sweetheart, you should be happy for the both of us. Twice a day. Ti mun bt tay vi vn ca bn bng cch tr nn giu c. The Wolf of Wall Street streaming: where to watch online? the wolf of wall street 123 GIFs. [pushes him away with her legs] This is my home! A former model and Miller Lite girl. Nicholas the Butler: I got you, baby. Shit, I can sell lubes to a convent full of nuns, get 'em so horny they'll be fucking each other in the coffers. it should simply be a lesson learned about the world of the stock broker because it's not possible to empathise with his character as everything he does it so vile. Donnie Azoff: the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. Donnie. All Id done was taken the small liberty of moving things to their logical conclusion, changing T and E to T and A: Tits and Ass!, If I earn a million dollars a week and the average American earns a thousand dollars a week, then when I spend twenty thousand dollars on something its the equivalent of the average American spending twenty dollars on something, right?, But what I sincerely hope is that my life serves as a cautionary tale to the rich and poor alike; to anyone whos living with a spoon up their nose and a bunch of pills dissolving in their stomach sac; or to any person whos considering taking a God-given gift and misusing it; to anyone who decides to go to the dark side of the force and live a life of unbridled hedonism. Plot - Jordan Belfort earns by day thousands of dollars per minute, money that he squanders by night at the same velocity in drugs, sex and travels around the world. 3 2 1, let's fuck! The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 62. . No? What a fucking burden, and actually had to do some work besides swiping my fucking credit card all day? 15 outrageous scenes in Martin Scorsese's 'Wolf Of Wall Street' Donnie Azoff: Three or four times, maybe five. [Sees a young broker cleaning his fishbowl] Jordan Belfort: Naomi Lapaglia: You know those guys who got like the beard with, like, no mustache or some bullshit? There is no such thing as bad publicity. Pick up the phone and start dialing! They usually cost a hundred dollars or less, and if you didnt wear a condom, youd get a penicillin shot the next day and then pray that your dick didnt fall off. Jordan Belfort: That's my boy right there. 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[on getting arrested] Chester Ming, the depraved China man, thought jujitsu was in Israel. 'Wolf of Wall Street' Estate Listed for $10 Million: Photos - Insider Jordan Belfort: Number one rule of Wall Street. You be telephone fucking terrorists! Some disgusting wildebeest with three days of razor-stubble, in a sleeveless muumuu, crammed in next to you in a carload full of groceries from the fucking Price Club. Captain Ted Beecham: Drugs. Turns out I have so much information about the stock market and Wall Street I can save the government years of heartache. Best The Wolf of Wall Street Quotes. Jordan Belfort: Some little hooker you were fucking last night? Because sometime in the not-so-distant future, you're gonna be pulling up at a red light, in your beat-up old fucking Pinto, and that person's gonna be pulling up right alongside you in their brand new Porsche. [to Jordan after the incident] But no touching. I'm not a scientist; I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Wouldn't you like to know how to sell it? Come on, baby. It's a joke! Go to a trading floor on Wall street. Mark Hanna: It doesn't even Donnie Azoff: That's good for me. No it's not like that. with updates on movies, TV shows, Rotten Tomatoes podcast and more. And it wasn't just about the sex either. Donnie. She's already got C-cups, but now she wants FUCKIN' DOUBLE D'S! Jordan Belfort: Don't you fucking dare! Just leave us a message here and we will work on getting you verified. They're called telephones. Jordan Belfort: Jean? My killers, my killers who will not take no for an answer. Everybody on point! Don't you fucking Duchess me! No, I get it, yeah, yeah, yeah. [pauses] If you did it long enough, he was certain to piss right back at you. It's never landed. Donnie Azoff: Naomi Lapaglia: [whispering] Jordan Belfort: Pick up the phone and start dialing! What do you mean happy for me? Jordan Belfort: 25 grand to the first cocksucker to nail the bulls-eye! But thats not because youre a failure. That conniving twat! You know, just people say shit. One fucking day, you couldn't keep it together? It's not like that. Jordan Belfort: Companies these people know. There's no nobility in poverty. Exactly. Nicholas the Butler: Donnie Azoff: Jordan Belfort: I mean, who the fuck wanted to live there? My name is Jordan Belfort. Naomi Lapaglia: Chantalle: And actually do some work besides swiping my fucking credit card all day, huh? Below Ive put together the best Wolf of Wall Street quotes on money and success. Back in the 1990s, Belfort ran. All day long, decimal points, high frequencies. Who? You're gonna knock whose fucking teeth in? We are going down! Something about laundering drug money through offshore boat racing and a guy named Rocky Aoki, you know the founder of Benihanna. That spoke volumes, didnt it?, The three of us exchanged glances but said nothing. We'll get broad-sided and tip over. We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your email. Postmedia Network Inc. | 365 Bloor Street East, Toronto, Ontario, M4W 3L4 | 416-383-2300. The real question is this: was all this legal? Mr. Hanna, you're able to do drugs during the day and then still function, still do your job? Every person around here, they want to get rich and they want to get rich quickly. Oh my God, the emperor of Fucksville came down from Fucksville to give me a pass! Donnie and I were going out on our own. Cause I cant keep track of your professions honey! Put the fucking car in the park, you dumb fucking idiot! It wasn't even a choice. Your hair looks good. Teresa Petrillo, It was obscene, in the real world. Naomi Lapaglia: Honey oh my God!, you probably had to pay them in cash with your hands! Naomi Lapaglia: Good! Donnie Azoff: Go at it. Naomi Lapaglia: On my Dad's side. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Her name was Pam and to her credit, she did have this amazing technique with this wild twisting jerk motion. When it gets here, I'll give you a call and you'll come pick it up. And once you do fall in lovethat obsessive sort of love, that all-consuming love, where two people cant stand to be apart from each other for even a momenthow are you supposed to let a love like that pass you by?, If you want to be rich, never give up. [dubious] Let me lock in that trade right now and get back to you with my secretary with an exact confirmation. Go ahead and fuck me. Jordan Belfort: [Sees Jordan snorting cocaine] But he didn't go along with us. Jordan Belfort: I found this woman's company to be incredibly soothing., Victor was Chinese by birth and Jewish by injection, having been raised amid the most savage young Jews anywhere on Long Island: the towns of Jericho and Syosset., I had considered changing my phone number, but I was so far behind on my phone bill that NYNEX was after me too., People dont buy stock; it gets sold to them. You know? the self narration, similar to goodfellas and moments where leo talks directly to the camera and you, the audience, are key. One day, you will do it right. The name of the game, moving the money from the client's pocket to your pocket. He must have thought we were still at the Hamptons this weekend, you know. Me, I jack it 12-15 times a week. Robbie Feinberg ('Pinhead'): And you brought in all the sides Tell him about the sides. Jordan Belfort: You know what my lawyer said? I got this non-alcoholic shit Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: How about that, faggot? FYI boys, Danielle has promised to use this $10,000 for breast implants. Integrity. The whole Donnie Azoff: Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: But there's a big chance, right? Donnie Azoff: Are you behind on you credit card bills? Leah Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Naomi Lapaglia: It is no matter. Babe, why you doing it like that? And the first thing we needed was brokers. I'm going to hell, Jordan! Jordan Belfort: Of course, after the bachelor party, me, the Duke, needed a few penicillin shots so he could safely consummate the marriage. John, one thing I can promise you, even in this market, is that I never ask my clients to judge me on my winners. Sides? He actually went to law school. Theyre not gonna dial themselves. Jordan Belfort: [narrating to the camera] S-so if I, if I sell a stock at $10,000, my commission is 5,000 bucks. I wanna be with the fuckin' Oompa Loompas! Alden Kupferberg: Yeah! Is she like, a first cousin? [Naomi walks in on a gay orgy] Hey, what are the citizens of Fucksville doing today when their emperor's gone? Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Mark Hanna: Turns out you're completely off the hook, honey. Jordan Belfort: Everyone wants to get rich. I'm gonna take custody of the kids. Hey, pal. What the fuck are you talking about? Naomi Lapaglia: I called the captain the n-word? We call the Verrazano's Bridge the Guinea Gangplank. Money talks and bullshit takes the bus. FBI! [masturbates to Naomi] There's no nobility in poverty. Donnie Azoff: Jordan Belfort: I put the money on that fucking table, not you! So It's Wolf of Wall Street, But for Learning How to Pick Up Girls Stevie Emerson 1.22M subscribers 1.6M views 2 years ago WATCH BLOOPERS FOR EVERY VIDEO. Act as if you have unmatched experience and then people will follow your advice. Good. Jordan Belfort: Cunt, cock, asshole." Stratton Oakmont Commercial: Based on the true story of Jordan Belfort, from his rise to a wealthy stock-broker living the high life to his fall involving crime, corruption and the federal government. The only thing that of course bummed me out a little bit about this whole idea is having to give information about my friends. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Jordan Belfort: Her pussy was like heroin to me. And act as if you are already a tremendous success, and as sure as I stand here today - you will become successful., You dont choose who you fall in love with, do you? I got news for you. Champagne. ~ Jordan Belfort. Act as if you're a wealthy man, rich already, and then you'll surely become rich. Hello, John. Good! I'm not talking about Buddhists or Amish. It's like lasers. Wolf Of Wallstreet Matthew McConaughey [FULL SCENE] [HD] Look, I know you're not following what I'm saying anyway, right? Expensive champagne and the what, we had to buy champagne. Yeah, yeah I jerk off. Id suggest you also read my post 33 Inspiring Jordan Belfort Quotes For Success. What we're gonna do is this: first we pitch 'em Disney, AT&T, IBM, blue chip stocks exclusive. 4. lastly it's down to the humour. You think I would let my kids near you? What kind of person are you? ~ Teresa Petrillo. Jordan Belfort: I'll tell you what: I'm never eating at Benihana again. What the fuck does that even mean? Jordan Belfort: And in the case of Aerotyne, based on every technical factor out there, John, we are looking at a grand slam home run. Absolutely fucking not. I want to stay married, Dad, but it's crazy out there. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. Let the consequences of failure become so dire and so unthinkable that youll have no choice but to do whatever it takes to succeed. Jordan Belfort, If you want to be rich, never give up. [raves at Brad] You want me to sell you this fucking pen? Sell me this pen! Hold on baby. Jordan Belfort: I'm gonna have Heidi lick some caviar off my balls in the meantime. Uh, what the fuck! Jun 17, 2013, 7:25 AM. Are people looting and raping? This is "Wall Street" but with Leonardi DiCaprio and Jonah Hill on Quaaludes. The movie is being directed by Martin Scorsese, stars Leonardo DiCaprio, and is based on the autobiography of Wall Street castaway, Jordan Belfort. Donnie Azoff: This right here is the land of opportunity. Do it differently each time. Out of respect. Donnie Azoff, Look, man a lot of having a kid or whatever takes risk, whether youre fuckin cousins or not, you know Donnie Azoff, Well, basically, you know, if the kid was retarded I would I would, you know, drive it up to the country and just like, you know, open the door and let it say Youre free now! You know? I'm pretty fucking sure. Manny Riskin: You gotta feed the geese to keep the blood flowing. Thats who youre gonna be sitting next to! Jordan Belfort, You be ferocious, you be relentless, you be telephone fucking terrorists Jordan Belfort, Let me give you some legal advice: Shut the fuck up! Agent Patrick Denham, Im not fucking leaving! Here's a list of a few of the best lines from the movie: I want you to deal with Your problems by . Naomi Lapaglia: But before you depart this room full of winners, I want you to take a good look at the person next to you. And from now on, it's gonna be nothing but short, short skirts around the house. Max Belfort: Last month you were a wine connoisseur, now you're an aspiring landscape architect. He's got a gun, you fucking idiot! Jordan Belfort: Good, pick up the phone and start dialing! So I, you know, used the cousin thing as like like an in with her. Mark Hanna: You're never gonna see the kids again! Sell that. Donnie Azoff: They were drunk on youth, fueled by greed, and higher than kites., Vn ca bn l g? Cocaine and hookers, my friend. You know? [gets a wire] Jordan Belfort: If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Yeah. Jordan Belfort: After all, the IRS knew about this sort of stuff, didnt they? Well, he got depressed and killed himself about three years later. Does your girlfriend think you're a fucking worthless loser? Jordan Belfort: So I was sellin' them shit, but the way I looked at it, the money was better off in my pocket. Jordan Belfort: Daddy's really sorry about what he said in the other room, he didn't mean any of it! The movie, starring Leonardo DiCaprio as Jordan Belfort was, in my opinion, a masterpiece by director Martin Scorsese. Donnie Azoff: My Aunt Emma. You called the captain the n-word. She you know, her her father is the is the brother of my mom. You mailed in my company a postcard a few weeks back, requesting information on penny stocks that had huge upside potential with very little downside risk. Your hair looks good. I'm a mutt. Donnie Azoff: Now that I'm under federal indictment with an electronic bracelet around my ankle, now you decide you don't fucking love me anymore. I'm gonna have Heidi lick some caviar off my balls in the meantime. That is fucked up! Jordan Belfort: Right there? Act as if youre a wealthy man, rich already, and then youll surely become rich. Jordan Belfort: Does it even matter to you that I just had that driving range sodded with Bermuda grass, Jordan, and now you fucking wrecked it! Beni fucking hanna!. Ugh! BOOK I, inside the restaurant young Strattonites carried on their time-honored tradition of acting like packs of untamed wolves., [Aunt] Patricia smiled, and we walked in silence for a while. [voice over] Okay, great. Some disgusting wildebeest with three days of razor-stubble, in a sleeveless muumuu, crammed in next to you in a carload full of groceries from the fucking Price Club.